As we were browsing through our latest pictures I stumbled upon this one. This is me holding the newest member of our family, Kaiden. The reason I am sharing this photo is because it has gained new meaning to me following a very important assignment that was given in my therapy group. Since this is my 2nd time going through this program, this is the 2nd time I received this assignment... Find 'my' compassionate image (an image that evokes genuine compassion) and then I'm supposed to view myself from that compassionate place and write a letter to myself. I have never been able to do it. I have never been able to relate compassion to myself in any capacity. This time through my genius dr was able to help me figure out what MY compassionate image is. I was actually able to think of that situation and relate it to myself. The only problem that arose is that I refuse to think about it because it is TOO emotional. So I'm still screwed! We have since been trying to think of any other type of image that is similar but isn't as powerful. I promised I'd try. I FOUND IT! I realize that no one understands why this is so important and so big for me - and that's ok cuz no one is really supposed to.

This is the first thing that I have been able to look back at myself and SEE compassion - I can look at this picture and SEE what I was feeling at that very moment. I may not be able to maintain that feeling when I try focusing that compassion towards myself but this is so much closer than I've ever been. I don't remember ever being so open with my emotions (and being caught on camera LOL). This is huge and I am so proud.